Amanda + John

Amanda is a single mom raising two kids in grade school. She’s got a lot on her plate with a stressful job in order to keep food on her family’s plates. Each day is a shuffle from the house to the car in order to get the kids to school on time and then for Amanda to get to her job. Their morning routine can be chaotic and there’s often some raised voices and some car doors opening and closing.

The next door neighbor is John, a widower who is retired and is not seen outside his house much. He’s called the police on several occasions complaining about Amanda and her kids disturbing the peace. When the police would arrive, John would only talk to the officer from inside his door and it would take a while to sort out, but she and the kids were made late and that aggravated Amanda a lot.

On weekends when the kids stay with their dad, Amanda enjoys staying up late and playing her favorite music loudly in her bedroom, which just "happens" to be next to an open window, closest to John’s bedroom.

One morning, feeling ill from sleep deprivation, John stumbled when he brought his garbage can to the curb and knocked over Amanda’s full garbage can. Seeing the mess, Amanda began to plot her retaliation. 

What would you do if you were Amanda or John?

Without Mediation
Unchecked, this back and forth could easily escalate into verbal assaults, property damage, physical altercations, and fighting in court. Would either of them truly get satisfaction? Even if it’s a slow burn over a long time, each has a lot to lose. Imagine that turmoil they feel having to endure constant reminders of their tormentor who lives so close.

With Mediation
Instead of ratcheting up the conflict, Amanda and John can use a mediator to bridge this gap in communication. In a mediation, Amanda can tell John how she feels that his being a shut in is antisocial and rude. John can tell Amanda how he has a medical condition that causes serious symptoms when he is sleep deprived. Through a structured discussion, they each may hear the other person’s point of view in a way that their previous pattern of interacting might never have produced.

Often in mediation there’s a breakthrough, then the mediation discussion turns to ideas each might have for ways to avoid the antagonistic actions and responses, and how Amanda and John can create positive interactions.

Mediation is an Option

Hopefully you see that mediation is an option for resolving conflict big and small. When people let situations fester, it can be stressful and bad for the mind and heart.

Whether it’s a corporate disagreement over a big contract or a tree limb that’s worrying the neighbor, you can feel better sooner by resolving those conflicts—big or small—through mediation.